Brangelina would never let Baby Z look like this

So, these are Thandie Newton's children. Are you surprised really? And more to the point, would Brad and Angie ever, EVER, let Baby Z out the house like this? My Brad is even up on the Carols' Daughter hair products. Its just a shame, I just need Thandie to tap into her African roots and remember; our hair is our crown - MUST BE MAINTAINED!!!!

I'm Back!

I know, I know: What the hell happened to me? I said I was taking a month off and low and behold it turned into 3 or 4...I don't know, I've lost count. What can I say, no matter how hard I try I just can not out run CP time. You know we Afrikans work on a circular clock! Anyway, what is a few months absence between friends? So what the haps? Have you missed me?

Beckhamania!

There is no denying it that at laceglovesoff we have an obsession with the Beckham's. My obsession changes from day to day as sometimes I love Posh and then there are other times when I find myself questioning her fashion judgement. The Beckham's have arrived stateside and was able to catch VB's "Coming to America" special today on YouTube (I was on a plane last night and missed the actual broadcast). After watching the show, I must tell you Chase and fellow readers that VB definitely has a sense of humor and she is a diva to no end. She obviously realizes the pull of her celebrity and she has no problem making fun of it. I think that she has the right attitude cause if you are going to have the pappo's in your life constantly then you may as well make the most of it.
Sloane
P.S.: David's first match will be this weekend, but he is injured and may not play.

You Go Girl!

Chase:
Miami was great but now I am back in NYC dreaming of the beach. I think I am officially "over" living in this concrete jungle. How is the island paradise? What have you guys been up to? Well I am here trying to hold down the blogging until you get sight of a computer. I saw this pic. of Katie Holmes earlier and it got me thinking that the girl has such a bad rep. for being married to Tom Cruise. When Katie cut her hair a few weeks back there were hardly any blogs out there that did not have a mean comment or two about her new look when in fact I found it refreshing. Not that she is a fashionista or anything, but I will say Katie should get more credit for her style than say Angelina Jolie, who in my mind always looks the damn same. So today is my celebrate Katie day- here she is at the "Hairspray" premiere in NYC without crazy Tom, looking very cute in her LBD on a hot NYC summer night.

My Summer Vacation Begins!!

Hey Sloane -

My month of island hopping starts tomorrow morning - don't hate. I am way too excited! You know that means I will be short on contact, but don't think that my hateration will end because of some time in the sun and sand. Promise this, I will be back to form in mid-August. Until then I trust you will keep the juice coming, I will check-in whenever I can...

LOVE YOU...XOXOXOXO!

Chase.

On Second thought...

You know now that I think about it, seeing Tameka undressed makes me look at Usher quite differently. Rather than opting for the ordinary trophy wife, he is with a real woman. Doesn't the idea that his ego is not connected with the "street value" of his wife mean something? Let's be real people, a dark brown skinned, 38 year old, black woman with three kids and stretch marks isn't exactly a saught after prize these days. But to Usher, she is gold...I appreciate that.

Dressed for the Runway, the British Airways Runway

Chase:
Here I go again writing about Posh, but I can't help it. So here she is with the family in tow en route to L.A. Is this how VB dresses to go on a 13 hour flight from London to L.A.? Most people like to dress comfy when they travel. You mean to tell me Posh was hanging out in that dress and heels for the 13 hour flight or did she change into something a little more comfy on the plane? If she did change it just goes to show how caught up she is in her image and this whole celebrity b.s. If she didn't those little scrawny legs must have been cold.
Btw, if Posh and Becks are sooo rich why do they still fly commercial?

Where is Brangelina?

Sloane have you been wondering where the Brangelinas are lately??? Just weeks ago it was almost daily pics of the Benetton family, "coincidentally" around the time they needed to promote A Mighty Heart. Now that the product push is over, they slip into the background and the photos start to dry up. I think this just proves my point about celebrities and paparazzi mayhem. Celebrities FOR SURE have a certain amount of control over when they are photographed. Am I saying that the razzy photos of them are staged? No, I think they are definitely followed and accosted, but they clearly know how to live life under the radar when they want. So don't feel so bad for these celebs being followed by cameras, if the King and Queen of hollywood can go without being photographed, I certainly think all these other Hollywood plebeians can get along just fine.

Ursh is that your chick?

You know I am at a loss right now. On the one hand there is something rather art-house about this photo of Tameka Foster with her saggy, stretch mark ridden, child bearing stomach...like a somewhat subversive look at the scars of motherhood. Then on the other I am thinking this is a photoshoot for Essence, they don't do art house...did she think this was sexy? The simple fact that she thought this was a good look..that it was alluring in some way...and bitch is a stylist!!!!!

WTF?

Here's Queen Latifah at the premiere for "Hairspray." What was she thinking? Was wearing the wig an inside joke or something? She could not be serious, right? Very dykey! More than ever now she looks like she could kick some hardcore ass.

What a Good Friend!

Very well done Beyonce! For once there is an attempt to remove the spotlight from yourself. Btw Chase I heard a song from Kelly's new album at the gym yesterday- very catchy!

Cute, Chic!

Chase:
I have never been a fan of Liv Tyler cause most times her style is just off, but I saw this picture of her and my immediate thought was "cute." Okay, maybe she is a little off stylewise (it is still summer, not quite fall) but she can be excused as this pic was taken in dreary London on what probably was a rainy day. What I love the most about this look is the use of color- brown, navy and grey with a touch of fire engine red lipstick. I want a poncho for the fall :) Now here I go getting excited about fall clothes when I am still so into my summer wardrobe.
Sloane

Who else but my ALT...

You know if no one told me this was the Valentino bash, I would have sworn it was the red carpet for Nigeria's Next Top Model...

Posh & Becks do W

Thanks to Mister for bringing this to my attention...and even more thanks to Lainey for the scans...DAMN...I don't care how much re-touching was involved, they sell it well...ok, let's not lie, its all about Becks...OH.MY.GOD. My favorite pic below...I really love me some Steven Klein, he makes everything look so artsy-porno - remember the Brangelina shoot for W while Brad was still married to Jen...oh and btw, I vote NO to men wearing these panty-brief things...except for Becks of course. Oh, and when is the last time Steven Klein shot some famous black people??

I am in LOVE with this dress

Ignore Uma all together please, how amazing is this Valentino???? I would love it more with a slightly lower neck-line...AMAZING.

Kim Porter & Diddy Officially OVER

Well, well, well...it is official Sloane, Diddy and Kim Porter have ended their relationship. Remember this picture from a while back? Diddy out shopping with Kim in L.A. and then an hour later making out with a blond in a parking lot. Yea, I know - a damn shame. But, let's be real does this have anything to do with Kim or is Diddy that guy that NO WOMAN could make faithful? I actually like Kim Porter, she is down right beautiful and I think she gets a bad rap overall. Is she a professional baby mama who has been repeatedly dogged out? Totally. Has this role worked out very well for her? Hello, $40k/mth in child support, million-dollar townhouse and international notoriety. So let's not hate too much on Ms. Kim, cause we know a whole lot of groupie chics out there who were all too happy with their ride in the Bentley and glass of OJ in the morning.

The Ghetto Ain't A Zoo!

What looks wrong with this picture?

Check out white girl and now look carefully at the background. White girl in a nice dress with designer sunglasses on in the ghetto? The explotation of poor people has found its way to Brazil. Check out this piece that I found on CNN about how the priveliged tourists who flock to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil are exploring the favelas for entertainment. Ah, I guess for the rich it must be cool to see how the worse half live.

R.I.P "N" Word

Chase:

Please, please let me know what you thought of the NAACP's funeral for the "N" word which was held in Detroit yesterday. Was it really necessary to have a coffin and a ceremony? In 1944 they had a funeral for Jim Crow, so maybe I am just being my usual harsh self, thing is, I can think of so many other things to do with my day than to attend a funeral for a word that is not even referred to by it's name in polite company.

S

Look at those Abs!

What more can I say? Can someone tell me how this is possible? What must I do to get abs like hers?

Don't Always Believe the Hype!

Here's Mariah on Roberto Cavalli's yacht off the coast of Salerno, Italy.

When I saw this picture I knew that I just had to blog about it. We all know that Mariah struggles with her weight; maybe she is happy with her weight, but at the same time Hollywood does not cut her much slack for not being stick thin. If I were to guesstimate I would say Mariah weighs about 150-160 lbs. and knowing this, when I saw her picture I immediately looked at her legs in search of some cellulite and alas, there was NONE! Neither a bump nor a ripple! How fake are these magazines that keep airbrushing celebrities? And everyone is now turning around and questioning why Janet Jackson has "suddenly" gained all this weight. Maybe she has packed on a few pounds, just a few, but for the record let it be known that I never bought into the hype of that US Weekly with her on the cover in a bikini. It was straight airbrush. Really, you want me to be convinced that Mariah does not have cellulite?

Sloane

Foxxy Brown missing?

As a faithful NY Post reader, Sloane, I am sure that you read last week's reports that Foxxy was missing over the weekend. **Snore**......I really am over this chick. It truly seems that Inga's demons have taken the best of her, cause as you can see by this pic, girl is not looking too hot anymore. That tired ass weave looks about three years old...and to say the least she has been hitting the chicken wings and french fries a little too hard. It's hard to say, but I think Foxxy's will be a sad story. She is - let's not forget - a former child star. And this is what makes her as crazy as she is...sleeping with Jay-Z and countless other industry dudes from the age of fourteen....abusing E to the point that she was gang rapped at 17...these are all things in the memoirs of Fox Boogie. Now add to that the episode from a couple weeks back of her getting jacked up for her Louis, her weave, and her hearing aid in the projects by some hoe's that her pimp boyfriend called on her when she tried to break-up with him....Sigh....and here she is over the weekend with her ex, Spragga Benz. So as you can tell, she was found...and at the Urban Music Awards no less...really sad.

And just what is Solange celebrating?

So did you hear that Solange had a second bday party this weekend at the Essence Music Festival? Must be nice to have all that time just to plan birthday parties, huh. Not that would want to look like the Sprite guy (has Mister ever blessed you with that gem? that Solange is twins with Orlando Jones, aka the sprite guy?????), but Solange really has the best life. She gets all the perks of being Beyonce without all the work...including having to sleep with Shrek every night.....

Oh! and for reference on the Solange - Sprite Guy theory, there is his pic...yea I know, at least first cousins....

Damn, is that you David?

Ok, I see even the walking sex that is David has bad days...it kind of makes me feel better about all these normal men running around...

And, my Posh REALLY REALLY needs to lay off of the sun.......btw, they are on the tail end of a South of France vacay. David premier US game is in just like a week or so, it is going to be mayhem. Do you think Americans will open up to soccer with David on the field? I say NO.

Janet, Please Stay This Way

Sigh, you know I really do worry for my Janet Jackson. The woman has gone from a size 16 to a size 6 and now to a size 10ish all within the short span of a year. That can not be healthy. I am just getting flashbacks to my dear dear Luther Vandross. Granted, Janet works out hard and looks to me to be in great shape at all her various body sizes, but really how much can her heart take of this??? This has been like 20 years of total yo-yo dieting and if you remember that scandal she had a few years back - Janet also likes the diet pills, a lot. Remember she had her maid fill diet pill perscriptions under her name? Anyway, I am just concerned. I would honestly rather Janet retire and keep to a healthy, natural weight rather than torture herself in another 6 months for some dud "comeback" album.

P.S. Can we also put a collective hex on Justin Timberlake for ruining my Janet's career prospects??? I LOATHE HIM.

Pete Doperty's New Digs

Well, well, well Sloane, look at the new place that Pete is calling home now that Kate has kicked him to the curb. Skid row under a bridge, how fitting! What gets me about this whole "breakup" is that Kate somehow found romance in this admitted heroin and crack user, with open scars all over his face and arms, who looks like death in a hat but cheating is the deal breaker??? Like you can do whatever drugs and run all around scarring young children (including her own, Lila Grace), but the line is DRAWN at another women? ROFL.

The Daily WTF?!?!?!?

You know, black woman always take that stand by your man concept to all new levels...
Source

Yes, Nicole Ritchie IS Preggers

No Words. None. All I know is that my 10th grade Biology teacher LIED HIS HEAD OFF. Anorexics CAN get pregnant...

Kate & Smelly Pete: It's Over For Now

Photogs for London's Evening Standard newspaper have been camped outside Kate Moss's North London home ever since news of Pete's wild night with a South African model at the Crystal nightclub. Kate left for Paris as she heard the news of Pete's philandering (she was leaving anyways for Fashion Week) but when she got to Paris, Kate was so distraught that she pulled out of the shows. What ensued next was truck drivers pulling up to Kate's house and movers loading the trucks with piles of Pete's stuff (a piano, his guitars, paintings and suitcases). So does this mean the romance is over? I would hope so. Do I think it is over? Not really. Those two are crackheads alike and their relationship is so dysfunctional that they will be back together within a month or so. Drug addicts like drug addicts and they are each other's drug of choice.

What size are Posh's tits?

58% of readers of the U.K. Sun say that Posh Spice's boobs are a 32C, although Posh vehemently denies this (she says 32 B, YEAH RIGHT!)What do you think?

The Best S*#t Ever: Nick Lachey's Doggystyle

Chase:
These pictures of Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey getting it on in Mexico are the best things to hit the internet since Britney's shaved head. Follow this link, but hurry, who knows when their handlers will try to take these down. Check out the look on Nick's face as he gives it to Vanessa doggy-style. I wonder if that is how Jessica used to take it.

Beyonce Is That You?

In a state of shock here Chase...is that really what Beyonce looks like without makeup?

Nicole Ritche is Pregnant?

Well it seems that TMZ is confirming....I just have no words. I will continue to say that she is pregnant with a question mark because I will not believe until I see live footage of a baby leaving her body.

Did I miss...

...when grandma chic was in???? Here are Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba at the Dior show...what is with the matronly frocks? They both look like really hot 65 year olds. My grandmother - a hottie at 90 - would loose her shit over Kate's dress. And can I just tell you how much Jessica Alba bothers the hell out of me with this demure style she is constantly trying to rock. Bitch is famous for her ass...that is it. Why fight the sex pot image so hard? And, my thing is she doesn't even look good in these grandma outfits. What does she think wearing everything below the knee means people will forget about her ass in a bikini and focus instead on the powerful and moving works of art like Fantastic Four?

Almost Forgot...

My other fav look of the show...that cape...I must pick my lower jaw up off the floor, so fab...I have $20 that A.L.T. commissions a version in size giant....

The Daily Sublime: 60 Years of Dior

By far my favorite look of the collection; the big question is who could do this gown justice? Hmmm....For some reason I want to say Kelis, but my girl has to work a bit on the whole elegance thing, as much as I love her. Dare I say Charlize? But can she pull off pink?

The Divine Mr. Galliano

My God Sloane, these are the times when I really wonder why I never went into fashion journalism. Have you checked out the 60th Anniversary Dior collection? OMG. Sublime never had a definition before this show. I am in awe of that man's talent. And, just to make all us fashion bitches wet our pants a little he sent the 40 plus looks down the runway on our fav supermodels of the 90s. One name should suffice: Linda. Yes, my first supermodel love was in the building along with her bff Naomi...my only disappointment was that Christy Turlington was not there, that would have been the 90s trinity in full effect. Unfortunately, Linda's frock was not at all my favorite, but still Linda was on the runway. And, can I just tell you that Galliano is now in my fashion hall of fame? I just have no comprehension of how someone can turn out over FORTY of the most divine, intricate, one of a kind pieces...this is what fashion is all about...brava!

GlaxoSmithKline to anorexics: Don't forget that extra change of underwear!

Chase:
You know I am always up to date on my pills, so I am sure it came as no surprise to you my latest interest in this new FDA approved, over-the-counter weight loss drug Alli. Until last night I did not know much about Alli, except for the fact that it was the iPhone of pharmaceuticals last week. I did some research and Alli seems as if it could be a really effective little pill but the side effects are scaring me a bit. See Alli is a weight loss aid that belongs to a class of drugs called lipase inhibitors. Lipase is a digestive enzyme that breaks down the fat our food so that it is easily absorbed and stored. Alli works directly in the digestive track by preventing the action of lipase, when then inhibits the body's absorption of fat. The bottom line is you cannot take Alli if you are on the Atkins diet! Alli only works with a low fat diet because if more than a certain amount of fat is ingested per meal the side effects can range from "uncontrollable bowel movement" to "gas with an oily discharge." EEEEEW! GROSS! Then again some of us will try anything to shed that extra 7 lbs that won't f*&k off!

Recognize the hipster??

We really should have gone to PS1 last Saturday- all of the Brooklyn hipsters were out :) Now that's a pimp daddy picture if there ever was one!

Impeach Bush!

Chase,

Enough is enough! I am so sick of this crazy president George Dubya. To think that he is going to get away with communting the prison sentence of Scooter Libby is just INSANE! I don't care if Scooter deserved the jail time or whatever, but I do think that it would have been acceptable if he served even a part of his sentence and then be pardoned by Bush as he left office, but NO, that's not the way the cookie crumbles in this administration! Scooter has been given a get-out-of-jail card and won't have to even serve a day of his sentence. Boy oh boy, I don't think that Bush even cares anymore about what the public says about his decisions. This is cronyism of the highest order and it disgusts me.

Well at least Scooter's defense lawyer Ted Wells (seen in the background picture) can rest at night knowing that Scooter won't be eating those nasty salami sandwiches that Paris Hilton refused while in the slammer!

Are Black Men Shrinking?

Seriously. Like literally are they shorter in general or is it just me and my 5'10" bitch raging? Is it those damn hormones in the food? Cause something is up I tell ya....let's take rappers as our sample group...those fools are ALL under 6' tall minus Jay-Z, Slim Thug, Busta Rhymes, LL, Fabolous...see 5 names and I am already at a loss...I am telling you black men over 6' are in short supply, Sotheby's needs to do an auction ASAP.

And P.S. please don't use the NBA to dispute my theory cause those guys are #1 in even shorter supply and #2 too tall, have you seen those guys in suits? Those jackets have like 10 buttons down the front....i just can't.

The Sublime Carine Roitfeld

Have I shared my minor obsession with French Vogue's editorix Carine Roitfeld? Hmmm, it is a secret that I am now ready to share. I.LOVE.HER. And I have a feeling you love her and don't even know it as she was Tom Ford's muse and collaborator during his famous run at the helm of Gucci and YSL. Mmm-hmm. Yes, she is that bitch. The archetype of Ford's glamazon woman stomping down his runways whose style always teetered on the edge of full on s&m. And her magazine, when I tell you that Anna's 300 lbs. periodical is watered down shit compared. So, why have I hidden my love for her so long? Well, honestly her face scares me and sometimes I wonder if there isn't a little something extra under the hood, if you know what I mean. I know, so shallow considering I let Posh walk around all anorexic with concrete tits rocking sequin panties...so I have turned over the stone and you will be seeing much more of my love Carine :)

Last Week's Big Question Answered...

The question of course being, what was Solange doing as a featured "star" of Beyonce's BET Awards performance...I mean come on, the girl got her own platform at the end of the performance, why? Did I miss when Solange had a career of some sort? Well, I think I have discovered the reason: her birthday. The Knowles celebrated her big 21st birthday over the weekend in Houston. I am thinking it was her early birthday gift, you?

SPLIT!

Surprise, surprise Salman and Padma have called it quits. I was always wondering what this young hottie"model" was doing with him. Do you think he ever pleased her in bed?

Beyonce had Liposuction?

Well, the kids over at cityrag seem to think so...well, Sloane, you know I am all for the plastic surgery, as long as it's subtle...I can't say that her stomach screams lipo to me, but I am more of an expert at nose jobs and face lift spotting...so go on over to cityrag and judge for yourself...