Did I miss...

...when grandma chic was in???? Here are Kate Hudson and Jessica Alba at the Dior show...what is with the matronly frocks? They both look like really hot 65 year olds. My grandmother - a hottie at 90 - would loose her shit over Kate's dress. And can I just tell you how much Jessica Alba bothers the hell out of me with this demure style she is constantly trying to rock. Bitch is famous for her ass...that is it. Why fight the sex pot image so hard? And, my thing is she doesn't even look good in these grandma outfits. What does she think wearing everything below the knee means people will forget about her ass in a bikini and focus instead on the powerful and moving works of art like Fantastic Four?

Is this for real?

Sloane dear, do you remember these Steve Madden treasures from like 10 years ago? I remember them well, had a pair that I rocked hard throughout the summer of '97 and even a bit in '98 - I know the shame. But they were hot THEN. And to my dismay and bewilderment, these shoes somehow are making a comeback on fashion challenged feet throughout NYC. When I tell you I have seen these so often that I decided to google them, just to figure out WHERE THE HELL WOMEN ARE FINDING THEM?!?! My first assumption was that bitches had stockpiled these things in '97 because I certainly have not seen them for sale at any shoe store I frequent. But upon my google trip I see that they are actually for sale on stevemadden.com under his "classics" section. Sigh. Why do retailers do this to women? Don't they know how many sheep there are out there who will welcome the return of their old faithfuls? I am just saddened by the news, do I have a summer full of these things to look forward to? Please protect me from this horror!!!

Summer Faux Bag Supply at Risk!

This just in Sloane, just got an alert from WWD the feds busted a $700 million counterfeit merchandise ring from - surprise of all surprises - China. Twenty-nine people were charged with trying to ship in the merchandise, including "Nike sneakers, North Face jackets, Burberry, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Chanel and Fendi handbags, and True Religion jeans, was said to have entered the country through ports at Newark, N.J.; Houston; Long Beach, Calif.; the New York Container Terminal in Staten Island, N.Y., and John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens, N.Y. "

Damn there are some Brooklyn girls PISSED right now...well, if the Chinese are dry I am sure the Africans will do there best to hold up the rear.

The Daily WTF?!?!?

Someone, please save Tyra from herself...

The House of DEAD WRONG

Korin just sent this link over to me, its a House of Dead Wrong Dereon "fashion show".....I have been rendered speechless. What? Why? How? Ok, let me just take this all in for a second. Now, how the FUCK am I or anyone else for that matter supposed to take this House of Dereon shit seriously? Who approved these designs? Who approved these models? Who approved any of this HOT-ASS-JUST-OUT-OF-THE-NINTH-WARD-MESS!?!?!?!?!?! I.CAN.NOT.TAKE.IT. And, I don't want to hear anything about the retail licensing business and how your creative vision can be watered down in the manufacturing process...blah blah blah. Have you seen Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B line? It is so well made, so well designed....and it can compete with the same high-end designers that Gwen wears. When you go into Nordie's or Bloomies, Gwen's bags are right next to the Kooba's and Marc Jacobs'. What high-end store would carry this crap? Ms. Beyonce who says her favorite store is Bergdorf Goodman, needs to hang her head in shame. And this further proves my point that taste can NEVER be bought!!!!!

And, why do you like Sienna Miller????

Here is your fashion "icon" - Ms. Sienna Miller at the Isle of Wight concert this weekend. And you talk shit about my Posh????? If this is one of your fashion standards, then no, you would never be able to appreciate my Posh -- cause she bathes!

What is wrong with this girl?

Sloane, please please help me figure out what people see in Eva Mendes. Please. I feel like she is the Latina Kerry Washington...the potential is there but the actual star power is just "eh". She has bored me to no end for a while now. I mean have you ever seen her look good at an event? I am not talking about if she looks "pretty", I am talking well dressed. The girl has NO fashion presence at all...more to the point she obviously lacks fashion common sense. Here she is at the MTV Awards last night....where did she think she was going with that bag? The dress is totally whatever, more appropriate for a date night on a summer night that an award show if you ask me. But the handbag...WTF? Maybe she was running late to the show and neglected to switch the bag she was using to run errands earlier in the day? Little else can excuse this handbag horror...you know I take my accessories very seriously Sloane, and this is just bad form....tsk-tsk Eva Mendes...tsk-tsk

NO, NO, Naomi

Chase:

How was your Memorial weekend? It's back to the grind this morning, so it's a good thing that you have this wretched picture of Naomi to critique.I know that you adore Naomi's style, but I have never been a faithful follower of Ms. N because she is notorious for mishaps like this one. What the fu*k is she wearing here in Cannes? She looks like she stole a the feathers from a scarecrow! This dress is from some designer named Giambattista Valli, who I have never heard of, but then again I really don't know EVERYTHING about fashion. This is just scary!

Sloane

Vuitton does higgler chic

UM, please check out these new bags from Louis called Street GM and PM. Remind you of anything? Uh, yes, the oh so famous higgler bag, legendary among the proletariat and now a must have of the rich and famous? I really have no words. But on the upside if I buy a higgler bag at the $.99 store and wear it in the Hamptons, I would be totally de rigeur...well minus the LV stamp, but whatevs.

High Waisted Pants for Men???

NO. PLEASE NO.

Tattoos: To have or have not

Sloane, we both have tattoos...I started later than you but have beat you with my two to your one. I love them, I can see how easy it is to get one after the other because when you love your tattoo it almost becomes a race to get another. BUT...like with everything else in life one must use discretion. And Ms. Fantasia here is displaying my #1 tattoo petpeeve: women who tattoo their calves or cleavage (cf Eve and Faith). Now, I try keep my use of the words "ghetto" and "tacky" to a minimum...but really if there ever was an appropiate time...

Source

Even my Posh has a bad day...

On the bright side, the jacket is cute...

The Cannes Red Carpet: A message from the motherland

Please, discuss.

The Daily Fashion Crime: Beyonce

Although, I do applaud her for trying something different, but more and more I just don't think that Beyonce is able to pull off different. {Source}

It's Getting Worse! Somebody Save Her!

My goodness, with all of the damn money that Britney Spears has can't she pay someone to style her? Doesn't she realize that it may be beneficial to her career to be photographed looking half-decent or do you think that she thrives this reputation of being a freak? There are simply no words to describe this outfit, so I will let the picture speak for itself.
Sloane
P.S. The hunt for Jayden James continues...I read something about him possibly having fetal alcohol syndrome- could this be true?

The Luckiest Girl in the World!

Chase:
This was inspired by a friend who asked me why I have not yet written about Salma Hayek, "the luckiest girl in the world." Salma is indeed the luckiest chic in the world- hello, her guy is an heir to the French Pinault luxury dynasty that owns almost every high-end label under the sun. That means Salma can walk into any Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, Alexander McQueen, Stella McCartney or Sergio Rossi store in the world and get outfitted in whatever her little Mexican heart desires. Now that being the case can you answer me as to why Salma looks like this? I know she is preggers but come on- being preggers does not mean that you have to stop being fab!
Sloane

LiLo and the dirty face

S - Now you know we have had a few trips to the MAC counter to get the right foundation...and I will certainly admit that it is a process to get the right color match and an ongoing process at that because you change color throughout the year. But if we had a hired, professional, make-up artists I would think the issue would be null. Apparently not because Li-Lo STAYS looking brown/orange, I didn't wipe my make-up off last night...what is up with the dirty face???

Jennifer Garner should just stay in her birkenstocks

She is one of my pet peeves, she is SOOOOO ordinary it puts me to sleep. My girl Lainey calls her "Taupe" and I wholeheartedly agree. This woman can not pull off a high-end frock to save her life. Her and Violet at the farmers market, some worn in levis and Patagonia is one thing, but a frock at the Costume Institute? She really should have just stayed home. And why does she look so tranny whenever she dresses up?

Hoochie goes to the gala

Ummmm, who let the dogs in? Is Roberto Cavalli so desperate for publicity that he brought Jessica Simpson to the fete? I just do not get it...and ok, if you do bring her, why put her in this dress? She looks like a $100 hooker on the floor of the MGM Grand on fight night. I am just appalled...

When Beyonce wears couture and it looks like Rave...

Armani Prive at the 2007 Grammys

Elie Saab Couture at the Vanity Fair Oscar bash

More Armani Prive on the Oscar red carpet

Ok, so she doesn't look like she is wearing Rave...exactly. But do these frocks look like the finest that fashion has to offer? Would you look at any of these dresses and think, $20,000 in hand craftsmanship? So begins, my issues with Beyonce. I love the girl in some jeans and heels, but....a high fashion doyenne she is not, no matter how hard she tries....and is it mean for me to point out that she has a serious case of elephant knees that should be hidden at all times possible?

P.S. Also, when is she going to try a new color palette? Just asking.